GET TO KNOW ME
It helps to see a face
before you say anything difficult.
Two minutes on who I am and how I work. Press play whenever you're ready.
A scene you might recognise
Four minutes, and you're somewhere else entirely.
A Tuesday, after dinner
- 21:40 The plates are done. The house is quiet.
- 21:42 One of you mentions the weekend. Who was supposed to book it, who said what and when.
- 21:44 You can hear your own voice getting louder. You can see them going quiet.
- 23:15 One of you in the kitchen, one of you in bed. Both of you awake but not talking to each other.
What's actually happening
You're not incompatible.
You're stuck in a pattern.
The subject changes every time; the shape of it, doesn’t. One of you moves closer to fix it, the other steps back to cool down; and each move, makes the other one worse.
That's not a sign you chose the wrong person, it's a loop. A loop can be broken, once you can both see it, instead of seeing each other.
argument on repeat
And sometimes it isn't the argument, it's the upbringing
Two different upbringings quietly disagreeing about what a family owes each other: who to visit, who to send money to, who cooks, who decides. Neither of you is being unreasonable. You're each following a rulebook you were handed long before you met.
These scenes are imagined, written to show a pattern I see often in the therapy room. Nothing here comes from a real client.
Learn more about meReflections and free resources
A bit of what I'd say in the room
On my social media channel, I share the things couples actually get stuck on: the argument that repeats, the quiet afterwards, the words that go missing between two languages.
Short videos, plainly said: a little of what I'd say in the room, free and yours to keep.
Where to start
Three ways in, whenever you're ready.
Relationship notes,once a month.
One reflection from the therapy room, plus something to try together.
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